I just received an email about ACOG (American College of Gynecology) ethical opinion 385.  In summary it urges OB/GYNs to either provide services (including abortions) or provide a referral.  On the surface I understand the argument against this.  I also realize that what I’m about to say is very unpopular with most Christians.  So, I invite comments for and against my opinion.  I will also approach this from a Christian point of view since that is often where many of the staunch opposition comes from.  

Christianity (contrary to much of the popular practice) is about relationships-even at the expense of religious rules.  Jesus says the greatest commandment is to “Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence…and to others as you love yourself” (Matthew 22:34-40, Mark 12:28-34).  What I take away from that is that if any rule inhibits me from loving God or loving others, then I am holding too tightly to that rule.  Jesus realized this and this is why he had no qualms with “breaking the sabbath” by healing people or feeding his disciples.  

Therefore, as a Christian and as a physician I have a responsibility and a spiritual call to love my patients even if I don’t agree with their choices and even when these choices violate my beliefs.  I will say that I would not feel morally comfortable performing abortions and I would counsel mothers against this decision in a polite and loving way.  However, I have two choices once the mother has decided on her course of action.  I can essentially sever the relationship by throwing rules and morality in her face and become one more christian who shoved rules in their face over relationship.  Alternatively I can say, “I respectfully disagree with your decision, but I value you as a person and recognize that we all have a right to make our own decisions.  I do not perform that procedure because of my spiritual beliefs, but I will agree to help you find another provider who will.  In addition, I encourage you to continue to ask my any questions you might have and to feel free to come to me with any other health issue.”  

I think that if most of us were honest we have all done things we knew were in opposition to someone else’s beliefs (whether it be breaking a law – no matter how small, or disobeying a parent or a teacher).  In addition our decisions always have an impact on others.  As Americans we are particularly guilty of choosing our own comfort and finances over others in our community who desperately need help.  When people have been aggressive and inflexible it often hinders the relationship with that person.  When people have been accepting that we made a choice they didn’t agree with, but continued to love us and have a relationship with us, it causes a deeper bond and a greater respect.  In the end, I think we are much more likely to agree with people who gently walk with us in our tough times than we are to agree with the drill sergeant types.  

Again, I see Jesus as having this perspective.  In the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) Jesus paints a very radical picture.  The son in the story demands his inheritance and insults his father.  His father no only allows his son to leave, he actually finances his debauchery!  Furthermore, he is not angry or bitter with his son, but rather desperately waiting for him to return home safely.  What a tremendous challenge for us.

Therefore, although I do not agree with the practice of abortions, I do not feel the need to be so hard-nosed about the issue.  Every life is precious and the mother’s just as much as the unborn child.  I would prefer that neither one would be sacrificed.  But what kind of spiritual life is the mother likely to have when everyone treats her like dung and refuses to walk with her through a very difficult time.